Dan Torres from Bicol

DAN TORRES from BICOL ga-TNT sa STATES
(at the grocery)
Cashier: Visa or mastercard?
Dan (gikulbaan) :gipangitaan kog visa!
(gadali og sakay sa car but he needs gas)
Gasboy: Pay 1st!
Dan (ginerbyos) : patay, papers kuno!
(run 2 d fone booth 2 call home)
Operator: AT&T, can i help you?
Dan (namuti) : kabalo cla TNT ko!
(gipaningot nigawas sa booth)
Kano : are u done?
Dan : asta ako ngan kabalo cla?
Kano : Tourist?
Dan : huh? apilyedo nko kblo ghpon?
Kano : be cool!
Dan : hasta probinsya?
Kuyapan c Dan oi...

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Ilonggo

Kuyaw ang ilonggo kong:
mangimbitar og kaon : "kaon ta anay"
d ka mosugot : "kaon ta bala"
kung mosugot : "cge kaon ta-e"
unya kung nagkaon na ka : "kaon kagid ha"

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Miss Pasosyal

Pasosyal na girl sa bus
girl : manong conductor, uhm... can u get my luggage pls? its kinda
heavy eh...
konduktor: asa diri miss?
girl : uhm.. kato oh! katong sako

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Sakto pud diay ang buang!

Nurse : naa pa ba sa imong huna2x ang pamilya nimo?
Boang : oo! Syempre!
Nurse : asa man ang pamilya nimo ron?
Boang : nasa akong huna2x lagi! cge balik2x!

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Two Good Friends

Two good friends, a Muslim and a Catholic, agree to attend each others church services together.
As they enter the Catholic church, the Muslim asked: "Dinhi ba nako ibilin ang tsinelas nako sa gawas?"

Catholic: "Ayaw bay, kawaton na!"

The next day they enter a mosque.

The Catholic, noticing his Muslim friend taking off his sandals as he prepares to go in, asked: "Bay di ba delikadong ibilin ang sapatos nako dinhi?"

Muslim: "Ayaw kabalaka igsoon, walay katoliko diri!"

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Isda! Isda!

Nanay: "Dong isuroy na ning isda."

Dodong: "O nay! Isda! Isda!"

Jose: "Tagpila nang isda dong? Palit ko."

Dodong: "Di man ni baligya nong, suroy-suroy ra man mi."

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Goodnight Greetings

"May your tasteless night be peppered with spicy love. May you have lemon dreams, sleep on a strawberry bed inside a vanilla room. In short, have a yummylicious sleep!"

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